Making Other Plans

I don't think I really understood what John Lennon meant with those words until recently. If you had asked me a year ago where I would be and what I would be doing right now, I would have told you I would be teaching 4th grade at Provost Elementary, probably living in the same apartment, attending the same ward, etc. I wouldn't say that I was unhappy at the time. But I wasn't happy either. During the next 12 months, life would happen.

Almost exactly a year ago, a colleague sent me an email early one Thursday morning encouraging me to apply for a different position at a different school in Provo (a non-teaching position, more of a leadership role) but my application needed to be in that morning. Somewhat impulsively I applied, had an interview the next day, and after an excruciatingly long weekend, I found out I did not get the job. This was somewhat of a relief considering the school year had already started and I know now that things worked out the way they should have. However, this one act of applying for this one job was the catalyst that changed my future. 

I soon realized that maybe it wasn't the job that I needed. It was the fact that I was ok with applying for the job. I was open to change that I had previously fought against. Something changed in me that day. I knew my time at Provost was going to be shorter than I originally thought. I didn't know what was coming, but I knew it would happen. 

Fast forward to spring time. After several long months, and I mean LONG months of problems at work, struggles with new co-workers and the leadership at the school, I knew I had to start looking for a new job. I didn't know where I was going or even where I wanted to go. I started to apply for every single open teaching job in the state of Utah. And I mean every opening from St. George to Logan to Roosevelt to Blanding and everywhere in between. I had several interviews and several job offers, but none of them seemed quite right. I couldn't get my head and my heart to agree. I eventually accepted an offer in Sandy. I liked the school. I liked the principal. It seemed like the perfect fit. Things were falling into place. But, yet again, life would happen. (Looking back I know I should not have accepted this job. It never felt wrong so I went with it, but it never really felt right either.)

About a month after accepting the job in Sandy, I got another email from this same colleague encouraging me once again to apply for the same position I had applied for 8 months earlier but at a different school. Once again, I applied and didn't get it. This time it hurt a little more. The timing was better. I felt better prepared and more qualified than before. 

Soon after, my colleague asked me to trust her one more time. This job was more of a long shot than the other two had been, but it couldn't hurt to try. It was a whole new position- working with BYU interns and student teachers. I had never done anything like this before. I didn't even go to BYU so I didn't even have the student perspective. The first question in the interview was "What experience do you have with the BYU education partnership?" The only answer I could give was, "Practically none," and right there I knew I wouldn't get it. Why would they hire someone with no experience and no knowledge of the partnership? But they did. "Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans." Never in a million years would I have planned for this. 

In the middle of this job mess, I was accepted to join a group of teachers on a trip to Finland to study their education system. It was one of the most unique and wonderful experiences of my life. It is not often you get to travel with 30 other people (most of them strangers) who share in your passion for education and teaching to another continent and through 4 countries learning from and growing with them every step of the way. I learned so  much, not only from the people of Finland, but from the people I was with. They are each such strong and gifted people. They affected me and my life in ways they will never know. 

I had the chance to spend 10 days with my best friends in New Jersey/New York/Philadelphia this summer. You know you are best friends when after spending every waking minute together for 10 days you don't want to kill each other and still don't want to leave. Sometimes I feel sorry for Curtis though... the only boy in the group, the only non-teacher... He puts up with a lot from us. 

My family made an impromptu road trip to California for my great uncle's funeral. When you picture road trips with family, I am sure most people picture fighting and not getting along after being stuck in the car for hours with your siblings. Not me. We have never really been like that. I love road tripping with my family. It has been a long time since we have done a true road trip and I think it was much needed for us. Plus, Marcus and Katie got to go to their first MLB game and we got to reconnect with family we hadn't seen in a while. 

 It has been a year/summer of changes and new adventures. Somewhere along the way I think I changed. I morphed into someone that was ready for all this change. 

Dear Children (2014-15)

Dear Children,

This year is different. This time I am the one that is not coming back. As I have finished the year, it has given me a much different perspective.

For the first time since I began teaching, I did not have a student with major behavior difficulties. I did not have to have the district psychologist in my room 3 times a week. I did not have anyone get suspended. I did not have any fights. I did not have to drag anyone (literally) in from the playground and for all of that I thank you.

This is the group of kids I have been waiting for. I knew from my first year, when these kids were in kindergarten, that there was something different, that I NEEDED these kids.

I always say I have learned more from you than you learned from me, but this year I feel like we learned together.

I've learned that a smile, a hug, and a high five can turn an entire day around.

I've learned that there is still something magical about the Magic School Bus.

I've learned I would rather have strong, confident students who know they are loved than the highest scores in the school. (Not that scores aren't important, but it's not what is most important.)

I've learned how important it is to see inside your heart.

I've learned that I will fight and fight and fight to get whatever is best for YOU, not just what is easiest.

I've learned that I need the Holy Ghost at school more than I need it anywhere else.

I've learned that passion is the best motivator.

I've learned kindness really is a chain reaction.

I've learned (or re-learned) how important time to create is - to play, to imagine, to have fun!

I've learned how important forgiveness is, and how important it is to give it quickly.

I've learned that no matter how hard and crusty you are on the inside, somewhere buried deep is a desire to learn, grow, and be better than your circumstances want you to be.

I've learned that my attitude is what you take with you and if my attitude stinks, so does yours.

I've learned to let the little things go. Our classroom doesn't need to be perfect.

I've learned that we really can make easy happen with hard work and learning. (Because in my room we don't use the "e" word.)

I've learned that you will always be mine.

Love, Miss Jensen

Watch DOG

This year my school has been participating in a program called "Watch DOGS" (Dads of Great Students) which is run through the National Center for Fathering. It focuses on getting fathers (or grandfathers, uncles, older brothers, etc) involved in the classroom. Most times dads come and spend a morning just volunteering, doing things like greeting the kids as the come into the building, helping in their child's classroom, being a recess supervisor, and anything else that the teacher could use help with.

I had a Watch DOG in my room last Friday and it was a new experience for me and for him. I have known this dad for a few years and have had several of his children in my class. This is a family that I greatly admire and look up to. His wife is very involved with the school, volunteering to teach art lessons a few times a month in several different classrooms, has been the PTA president, goes on field trips (even if it is not her child's class), and much, much more.

Several times during the day he came up to me and stated how amazed he was with the difference in academic levels between all the children in my class. He hadn't realized what a gap there was between children and how hard it is for the teacher to bridge that gap. He loved working with the different children and seeing how many personalities there were.

I noticed such a difference in several of my boys that day. These boys come from homes where the mom has a different boyfriend in and out of the house every week. They generally are left to fend for themselves quite often. They have very little, if any other family around. These boys have no GOOD male role models, no one to look up to. I watched them Friday soak up every ounce of attention they got from this Watch DOG. He played with them at recess. He sat next to them in class and talked with them about their writing and art projects. He gave the spelling test with silly sentences about Justin Bieber, and spinach. He ate lunch with them, joked with them, loved them.  He showed them that there are men out there that care, that listen, that want to pay attention to them.

I talked with this wonderful man's wife later and asked her to thank him again for coming in. I told her what I had seen and she started to cry. She was so happy to hear that he had made a positive impact on those boys because it had made such a positive impact on him. Before coming in he had always wondered and questioned why she put so much effort in the PTA and volunteering at the school. He didn't understand why she would come in so often, without getting any kind of payment. She said his words were, "I get it now. I get why you care. It's not just about our children. It's about all the children."

I often wonder if fathers fully understand their children's elementary education experience. Most children are lucky enough to be born into families with parents that care about what is happening at school, about how their day went, about who they played with. But others, others are not so lucky. And for them, having another parent come in and interact with them may be the only positive experience they have with a parental figure all week.

So fathers and future fathers, I plead with you to get involved. Find at least one day during the school year to volunteer in your child's classroom. See what it is like, play with them, read with them, and listen to the children as they share their world with you. Make a difference. (And when your wife spends hours volunteering at your child's school, thank her for the difference she has made in the life of a child.)

My Dream Job

Last week for their journal assignment, my kids had to write about their dream job. I finally got around to reading them (don't judge me...) and this one moved me to tears.

Amen, my dear. Amen.

Thankfulness Day 5

Oh how grateful I am for my career! I love my job. Some days I am positive it is the hardest job on the planet. Some days I seriously think about never coming back. Some days are an absolute nightmare. But I love my job.

I love my children. (And yes, I always refer to them as my children.) They are tough and sweet. They are energetic and crazy. Sometimes they drive me bonkers, but they always make me laugh an feel loved. They are so caring and giving.

I am pretty sure I learn more from them every day than they do from me. If you have every wondered why we are taught to become like little children, come spend a day with me.

I am so thankful to work at the school I do, to work with the wonderful teachers I do, and to know/teach the children/families I do.

The Lord's Time Table

We often talk about waiting on the Lord's time table. "Be patient. It will happen on the Lord's time." "It will happen when it is supposed to happen." 

No one ever mentions what to do when those amazing opportunities come at the WORST POSSIBLE TIME. I am not talking just bad timing, I am talking there is literally no time that could be more awful. 

And then you get on Pinterest, and the very first pin you see is this.

And you know as much as it stinks, everything is going to be ok. No matter what happens.

Dear Children, (2013-14)

This year has been full of many...adventures. This morning, as I sat in our classroom, looking at the empty bulletin boards, empty desks, waiting for you to walk in for the last time, I realized how much FUN we have had this year. I have watched you learn and grow. I have seen some amazing personalities develop as you found yourselves. I have watched you laugh and play and dance and love and paint and sing. 

Once again, I believe you have taught me more than I could have ever taught you.

I've learned that no test can measure the love in a child's heart or what kind of person they are.

I've learned that it's ok for me to be funny and to make you laugh.

I've learned that sometimes the only thing to do is just shake my head and smile.

I've learned that it's ok to stick a movie in, just to watch a movie, because we all need a break.

I've learned your stress level rises when my stress level rises. 

I've learned that I can be just as stubborn as you.

I've learned that attendance matters more than you could ever imagine. I can't help you if you aren't here.

I've learned that one of my favorite qualities in children is your ability to forgive and forget.

I've learned that the "momma bear" instinct applies to teachers as well as mothers.

I've learned why we are told, "Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter in the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven." (Matt. 18:3-4) 

I've learned to really, truly, enjoy my job. (Even when it's hard.)

I've learned there is nothing like a Russian substitute to make you love and appreciate me even more.

I've learned that the three people you always want to be on the good side of at school are the secretary, the custodian, and the PTA president.

I've learned the power of having a best friend- to lift you up, push you harder, and never give up on you.

I've learned that my curly hair is more than just hair to you. 

I've learned about the power of food- to motivate, to teach, and to empower.

I've learned that I pour every ounce of my heart and soul into you. Sometimes it is exhausting and sometimes it is painful, but it is always worth it.

I've learned that messy learning is often the best kind of learning.

I hope each one of you knows that you will ALWAYS hold a piece of my heart.  Know that you will always be considered one of mine.

Love, Miss Jensen

Being "Miss Jensen"

My name is Jessica and I am a teacher-aholic. 

There I said it.

I once had a mentor teacher tell me the best thing I could learn early in my career is how to leave work at work and to save home for home. I feel like for the most part I have that down. Very rarely do I actually bring work home (grading papers, lesson plans, etc.) Every now and then I will but only when I know that it won't interfere with other things. 

However, as well as I do that, there is one thing that is harder for me. I may be able to leave the work at school, but I can't leave the teacher at school.

My friends often give me a hard time about using my "teacher voice" and "teacher look." Somehow all my conversations seem to come back to school or my kids. When I am with fellow teachers, we can't seem to stay away from school topics for very long. I can spend hours on Pinterest looking at nothing but school ideas. I actually enjoy teaching summer school.

And I am totally ok with that. That's who I am. Being a teacher is not a desk job. It's not a lock-the-door-and-walk-away job. It is engrained in every part of me. I view the world through "school-bus-yellow colored glasses." I love my job. 

My name is Jessica and I am Miss Jensen.

Sometimes I like to think I am a pretty cool teacher.

(I would have put a picture of my awesome kids right here but it's against the rules...)

Failure in the Home

Teaching is hard. I firmly believe it is one of the hardest jobs a person can do. There are no breaks. It is mentally and physically exhausting every day. It is very, very public. Nothing ever seems good enough. And the future of the world depends on it. 

Friday I sat in a meeting listening to what will be required of teachers (by legislation) within the coming years. Things like how lessons have to be planned and executed, how evaluations and merit pay are going to work, etc. It was quite unnerving and upsetting. Afterwards my team was discussing the reasons behind all of this and it all came down to one thing. FAILURE IN THE HOME. Satan has been attacking homes and families from the very first day. And he is succeeding! The break down of the home not only has eternal consequences in a spiritual way, but it greatly affects society and civilization today.

Teachers no longer teach academics. We teach how to treat one another kindly. We teach how to speak to one another civilly. We teach how to be responsible. We teach how to be clean and organized. We teach how to think before we speak. We teach how to work hard and hopefully not to take the easy way out. We teach them what it is like to have someone care about them. We teach them how to listen and how to be listened too. We teach them everything they should be learning at home. (And maybe after all of that, we teach them how to do math and reading.)

President David O. McKay (9th President and Prophet of the Church) once said, "The greatest work we will ever do will be within the walls of our home."

So today I beg you, down on my knees, to do this work.

Take notice of your children. 
Teach them. 
Teach them to work...make them work.
Teach them to love by example.
Teach them to serve. 
Teach them to listen.
Teach them to care about others.
**(Amendment): Teach them with some tough love. Tell them no. Show them there are consequences to their actions.

Read with them, play with them, listen to them, spend time with them. 

LOVE them. 

Dear Boys #22

Hey, Hey, Good Lookin'

Pick me!! Pick me!!! 

Love, Jess

Dear Middle Man, 

The fact that you know a secret I don't is KILLING me.

Love, Hitch

Dear Boys, 

When Shawn shows up, I promise she isn't trying to be creepy.

Love, Your Biggest Fan

Dear Shawn,

HOLD IT TOGETHER!!! ;)

Love, Gus

Dear Children, 

Ready or not, here you come.

Love, Miss Jensen

3 Year Anniversary

I realized this afternoon that 3 years ago this past Saturday I moved here. I never imagined it would be that long. I had a year, tops, in mind. It doesn't really sound like a long time, 3 years, but when you stop and think about how much I really didn't want to move here, it seems like a life time. 

I still can't say that I enjoy it. Some days it is almost more than I can take. Whenever I come back from being up north, I get the urge to cry. I still don't really feel like I fit in, like a fish out of water. 

I can easily say the only reason I am still here is because Heavenly Father keeps telling me to stay and trust me when I say, I ask Him often if I can move on. So many times it would have been extremely easy to pack up and walk away. I don't always understand why I need to be here but I do know that it is right. (And when I get depressed I just think, "It's better than Blanding.")

Hopefully, it will not be another 3 years :)

Dear Children,

I think I have been counting down the days longer than you have. I will be the first to admit, this has been a VERY rough year for me as a teacher. Some of you pushed me to my limits and beyond. Some days I wanted to strangle you all. I am pretty sure I have cried more this year than I have the previous 2 combined. Some days I will admit to being beyond caring. 

And somedays I think I may have cared too much.

However, this year was also the hardest set of goodbyes I have ever had. I have watched you all grow up in the past 9 months. You came to me a little more than 3rd graders and are leaving me as 5th graders. We have learned together, laughed together, cried together, sang together, danced together, explored together, played together, gone crazy together.

I could make a list a mile long of the things you (hopefully) learned this year, but instead, here is a list of the things I have learned from YOU this year:

I've learned that there are some children that the school system has already failed merely for the fact that nothing has been done until now.

I've learned that parents can make or break your day. And they can make or break the child.

I've learned that even if you want to tell the child to never come back, you are still glad to see them every day.

I've learned that the core is the least important thing I teach you. I want to teach you first and foremost how to be a good, decent human being, a contributing member of society, and most importantly, help you find out who you are.

I've learned more about being gluten free than I have ever known before and now pay special attention to every birthday treat that enters my room.

I've learned that you have to pick your battles. Some things are just not worth it.

I've learned that a 9-year-old can have an unending supply of patience that defies all odds.

I've learned that it's ok to lock the doors, turn off the lights, and hide in the dark during lunch just so no one bothers you.

I've learned that I don't have to be like the other teachers at school and sit on the side lines. It's more fun to play dodgeball or kickball with you.

I've learned that a hug can speak much more loudly than words can.

I've learned that sometimes you have to throw the rule book out the window and just have fun.

I've learned that recess is just as much for the teacher as it is for the students.

I've learned how to listen. Not just to the words you say, but to the looks you give, the words that aren't said, and to the things you do.

I've learned that you are capable of so much more than we give you credit for.

I hope each one of you knows that you will ALWAYS hold a piece of my heart.  Know that you will always considered one of mine.

Love, Miss Jensen

Dear Boys #13

Lucky #13!!

Let's start it off with a Wednesday Wonderful!! (I like combing these two things!)

The last day of school is the 30th and it is only like 3 hours long. Not counting weekends or Memorial Day, I only have 10 days and 3 hours left in the school year!!!!

Ok, now Bring on the Men!!

Dear Middle Man, 

Thanks for being my Date Doctor. 
I firmly believe everyone should have someone like you in their life.

Love, Hitch

Dear Dr. Seuss, 

I really am trying not to flirt too much since I have given up on the whole "date" thing...but somehow you end up sucking me in every time. 
Stop that.

Love, Jess

Dear Cowboy, 

I never thought I would Dear Boys you again, but the more I think about the text you sent over the weekend, the more it hurts. 
I am starting to regret this "staying friends" thing. 
I am not sure how much longer it will last.

Love, Jess

Dear Mr. Perfect, 

Please know its not too late to call. 
Call any time. 
Seriously.

Love, Jess

Dear Dr. O, 

Thanks for backing me up yesterday. 
I keep waiting for you to throw me under the bus like the rest of them,
 but you've had my back so far. 
I appreciate it.

Love, Miss Jensen

Dear All Single Boys (and Girls) Everywhere, 

I don't understand this fear of commitment. 
Someone please explain it to me.

Love, One confused girl

World's Garbage Can

(Disclaimer: I love my job and I don't really want to quit.)

You know it is not a good day when you cry twice before leaving work. Today is one of those days when I just really want to walk away from school and never go back.

I am getting a new student sometime this week. However, he is not your typical new student. He is just moving classes. He has been at our school since the beginning of the year. His dad is very unhappy with his current teacher and believes that switching classes will solve the problems.

I see MANY problems:

1- This puts both 4th grade teachers in a very awkward position. Especially because we are not only close as teachers but friends. Everything we do in the 4th grade is coordinated and the same. Our teaching styles may be slightly different, but the functionality of our classrooms is pretty much the same. She did NOTHING wrong and is being blind-sided by these parents.

2- Normally this would not be a problem. He has been diagnosed with Aspergers. Like I said, normally not a problem. However, I already have 2 students with Aspergers and 2 more with extreme emotional disorders. There is only so much one person can handle and deal with. Half the time I already feel like I am drowning trying to stay afloat.

3- These parents are what I like to call "garbage men." No matter what you do, they will always find something to complain about. They moved to our school from a neighboring school because they were unhappy with their teachers. They have already pulled their younger student from our school because we were not "doing him any services." It's only a matter of time until they find something wrong with me and I am the one facing the firing squad. They don't empty the garbage can they fill it.

As we were talking about this today, the other 4th grade teacher (who has taught over 20 years) said something to the affect of "20 years ago teaching was one of the most noble professions you could go into. Now you are the world's garbage can. No personal space, no feelings, no respect." I am quickly learning this is so true.

To top off my day, I got an email from a mom saying she refuses to sign her daughters reading calendar any more because all it is teaching her daughter is that I don't trust her and only believe she does her reading on the days it is signed. It is an inappropriate practice and it needs to stop now. Yep, just the cherry on top of my cake today.

End of the Year

Well, I have made it to the end of the school year! I have one more week left of my first year of teaching and what a crazy year it was! We have had some crazy moments and some great moments as well. We have finished our end of year testing which was an interesting experience in and of itself. Never have I felt more stressed about something I had no control over as I did for those three weeks of the school year. The kids did very well and I am very proud of all of them for working hard and doing there best.

Through all of the craziness that makes up the last month of school, I have come to realize that my crazy job teaching part 6th grade and part 4th grade was a blessing for the entire school. During the first week of testing, one of the fourth grade teachers lost her husband after a long fight with liver disease. She was gone for a week and a half and it was great to be able to take her class and help out. Then, just this morning, one of the sixth grade teachers lost her father to heart failure and I am now sitting in with the sixth graders. I am all over the place but it is nice to be able to reduce their stress level in these hard times.

Now on to the good news..although it took a while to become good news. After months of stessing and worrying, I have now been offered a full-time regular position teaching the fourth grade here in Provo at the same school. Originally, I was offered a crazy 2nd/5th/6th split job and I was considering moving to a new district. However, with much help from the staff at the school and many prayers, I was offered the fourth grade job. I am really excited about it and really happy to be able to stay (at the school not in Provo)

Parent Teacher Conferences

It's days like this that my job absolutely sucks. Especially my teaching position right now. I am technically a full time teacher and therefore required to be present at parent teacher conferences. Problem is, I don't have my own students to see. I have 10 students from two different classrooms. So at the moment, I am sitting in a rock hard, little person chair in the hallway between the two classrooms waiting for students to show up. There really is no schedule, they just come whenever. I wait for my students to come, go into the conference, sit there pretty much silently, and then return to my chair in the hallway. At least the parents get to see me. Although, most of them look at me with disdain and I can practically hear the worrisome thoughts and the get the "you're so young and new" look. Most of them don't understand that even though I don't have my own class, I am NOT an aide or a paraprofessional. I AM a highly qualified, certified, legit teacher that knows what she is doing. It's ok that I haven't taught for twenty years, in fact that may make me better...
Needless to say, I am bored out of my mind and really wish I had brought a book with me or something to do. I can't even be in my room to work on things in there...

Teachers make the worst students

Today was my first official day as an employee of the Provo City School District. I have my first "teacher class." Today's lesson was Literacy Development and Small group management. The first two hours (of seven) were very educational. I learned how to use my teacher's manual and basal reading program to its full educational potential (not necessarily what they lay out in the book). The program they use is very similar to what is used in Logan School District.
However, the next 5 hours proceeded to be a waste of time. It was a testament that Utah State provides their education majors with the finest education in the state. Everything that was taught, which it seemed most did not know, was a review for me. Most of it I had learned as early as Level II at USU. For the first time, I truly appreciate the education I received.
As I sat in this giant room looking around, I realized teachers make THE WORST students! Have are texting, the other have are on their computers fooling around. Very few of us were actually paying attention. I could hear several side conversations going on. How many of us would actually put up with that in our classrooms? Not one of us, that's how many! (Although, I do have to admit, I was one of those texting, and occasionally talking :)
Now there are just 2 more days of this and I can get back in my classroom! 7 more days til the kids come!

LIfe's Simplicity

So right now, my elementary ed. practicum is in a second grade classroom. I never thought I would want to teach students that young. I was always headed for the upper grades (4-6), but now I am not so sure. I absolutely love those kids. They have a way of making life so simple. Nothing is complicated to them, everything roles right off there backs. I see more smiles in one day in that classroom and hear more laughter and giggles, than I do on campus in a month. These students share happiness with everyone around them. And all this makes me wonder, what happens to us as we grow up? What makes us lose that?
A couple of weeks ago, after a big rain storm, I had a couple of girls walk into the classroom and pull a handful of worms out of their pockets. They wanted a cup to put them in and were totally fascinated by these worms. What happens to that curiosity and fascination?
I think that is why I am so drawn to the classroom. Being around kids like this make me feel like I have a little bit of that back. Growing up shouldn't mean losing this outlook on life.