Before you read this, read this. I love Elise. We were in the same ward a couple of years ago and she was roommates with my best friend. We bonded over shepherds pie...in other words, we're tight. Most of the time I feel like Elise's emotions run about 24 hours ahead of mine. Every time I read one of her blog posts I'm like, "Oh yeah! That's how I feel." So, I hope she doesn't mind me piggy-backing off of her.
Like most LDS young women, I thought "Go to college. Get married. Graduate. Have children." That was my life plan and that's how it is going to work. Three years after graduating I have accomplished two of those. Go to college. Graduate.
If I have already shared this story with you forgive me...
I can clearly remember the day I was sitting in my living room with my roommates and best friend, Molly talking about graduation. (Molly and I were both graduating with an ELED degree by the way...we had done the entire program together). It hit me. I had to start looking for a job. A big girl job. My life hadn't really gone where I thought it would go.
Luckily, I was offered two different teaching jobs in two very different parts of the state. One was in Blanding. A little tiny town in southeast UT about an hour south of Moab. The other in Provo. I had felt good about the Blanding job when Molly and I would be going down together to teach, but then her boyfriend decided he couldn't live without her and they got married. So, I told Heavenly Father, if you want me in Blanding, don't let them offer me the job in Provo because I will take it. Needless to say, they offered me the job in Provo.
I have known without a doubt that I am supposed to be here from the minute I walked into the school for the interview. Everything work out too perfectly for me to chalk it up to coincidence. I never actually applied for the job in Provo. I did a mock interview with a human resources person from the district and she like what she saw enough to pass on my info on to some principals. I found an apartment quickly with probably the best landlords on the face of the earth. I work with people that I could get along better with.
But, it was supposed to be a one year deal. Work here for a year and then move on. Provo is the last place on Earth I want to live. I can actually say I hate it here. There is very little outside my job that I like or do. But, I also know without a doubt that this is where I am supposed to be. I thought seriously about up and leaving last summer so I got called as the Relief Society President in my ward. Started thinking about leaving after this school year and the prospects of a different position at school that I am interested in opens up.
I love my job, but I never intended to do it forever. In fact, I feel slightly guilty when other teachers talk about teaching for 20+ years, because I have no intention of doing that. I didn't go into education because it is a good "mom job" but I really don't plan on teaching the rest of my life. My goals haven't changed. I still want to get married and have children. I often wondered why those things haven't happened in my life...they are good, righteous goals. Then I start thinking back on the things I have learned and been able to accomplish in the last 3 years and I wouldn't trade them for anything.
If nothing else, I have become so much closer to my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. My testimony and faith in them have been the only thing to hold me together some days. Obviously, I needed that and that is good enough for me.
Congratulations if you made it all the way through that. Sorry it was so long. Sometimes you just have to let it all out. Thanks Elise for understanding even if you didn't know that you did.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
World's Garbage Can
(Disclaimer: I love my job and I don't really want to quit.)
You know it is not a good day when you cry twice before leaving work. Today is one of those days when I just really want to walk away from school and never go back.
I am getting a new student sometime this week. However, he is not your typical new student. He is just moving classes. He has been at our school since the beginning of the year. His dad is very unhappy with his current teacher and believes that switching classes will solve the problems.
I see MANY problems:
1- This puts both 4th grade teachers in a very awkward position. Especially because we are not only close as teachers but friends. Everything we do in the 4th grade is coordinated and the same. Our teaching styles may be slightly different, but the functionality of our classrooms is pretty much the same. She did NOTHING wrong and is being blind-sided by these parents.
2- Normally this would not be a problem. He has been diagnosed with Aspergers. Like I said, normally not a problem. However, I already have 2 students with Aspergers and 2 more with extreme emotional disorders. There is only so much one person can handle and deal with. Half the time I already feel like I am drowning trying to stay afloat.
3- These parents are what I like to call "garbage men." No matter what you do, they will always find something to complain about. They moved to our school from a neighboring school because they were unhappy with their teachers. They have already pulled their younger student from our school because we were not "doing him any services." It's only a matter of time until they find something wrong with me and I am the one facing the firing squad. They don't empty the garbage can they fill it.
As we were talking about this today, the other 4th grade teacher (who has taught over 20 years) said something to the affect of "20 years ago teaching was one of the most noble professions you could go into. Now you are the world's garbage can. No personal space, no feelings, no respect." I am quickly learning this is so true.
To top off my day, I got an email from a mom saying she refuses to sign her daughters reading calendar any more because all it is teaching her daughter is that I don't trust her and only believe she does her reading on the days it is signed. It is an inappropriate practice and it needs to stop now. Yep, just the cherry on top of my cake today.
You know it is not a good day when you cry twice before leaving work. Today is one of those days when I just really want to walk away from school and never go back.
I am getting a new student sometime this week. However, he is not your typical new student. He is just moving classes. He has been at our school since the beginning of the year. His dad is very unhappy with his current teacher and believes that switching classes will solve the problems.
I see MANY problems:
1- This puts both 4th grade teachers in a very awkward position. Especially because we are not only close as teachers but friends. Everything we do in the 4th grade is coordinated and the same. Our teaching styles may be slightly different, but the functionality of our classrooms is pretty much the same. She did NOTHING wrong and is being blind-sided by these parents.
2- Normally this would not be a problem. He has been diagnosed with Aspergers. Like I said, normally not a problem. However, I already have 2 students with Aspergers and 2 more with extreme emotional disorders. There is only so much one person can handle and deal with. Half the time I already feel like I am drowning trying to stay afloat.
3- These parents are what I like to call "garbage men." No matter what you do, they will always find something to complain about. They moved to our school from a neighboring school because they were unhappy with their teachers. They have already pulled their younger student from our school because we were not "doing him any services." It's only a matter of time until they find something wrong with me and I am the one facing the firing squad. They don't empty the garbage can they fill it.
As we were talking about this today, the other 4th grade teacher (who has taught over 20 years) said something to the affect of "20 years ago teaching was one of the most noble professions you could go into. Now you are the world's garbage can. No personal space, no feelings, no respect." I am quickly learning this is so true.
To top off my day, I got an email from a mom saying she refuses to sign her daughters reading calendar any more because all it is teaching her daughter is that I don't trust her and only believe she does her reading on the days it is signed. It is an inappropriate practice and it needs to stop now. Yep, just the cherry on top of my cake today.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Dear Aggie Boys,
Ask me just two years ago and I would have never guessed that I would be this excited about Aggie Football. Not just because they are winning, but because of what they have become. Watching them grow and get better each year has been amazing. Beating BYU in 2010 was amazing. Beating Utah this fall was wonderful. But NOTHING compares to the joy I felt listening to Al Lewis yell into the radio mic "They did it! They stopped them!! Aggie's win the game!!!"
Definitely makes the list of one of my favorite Aggie moments ever.
WAC CHAMPS!!
Photos courtesy of KSL and Cache Valley Daily
Dear Aggie Boys,
Heck yes!
Love, Jess
Saturday, October 27, 2012
My dream is to...
A few days ago, I gave my students a writing assignment title "My dream is to..." I left it really open ended and wanted them to get creative. I had everything from "My dream is to live like a princess in a castle in a land far, far away" to "My dream is to own all the Legos in the world" and "My dream is to have a horse of my very own to ride whenever I want to." They then had to write three paragraphs of why this was their dream.
One students assignment stuck out to me however. "My dream is to get married and be a mom." I really wish I had copied her paper before handing it back to her. It wasn't the most beautifully written assignment I have ever seen but it spoke to my heart. She wants to get married in the Provo temple because that's where her mom and dad got married and it would make Jesus happy. She wants to be a mom because she "gets good practice taking care of her little brother and it's fun." Her third reason was because she wants to be like her mom.
As I read this assignment, I couldn't help but cry a little. How often have I said almost this exact same thing?
My dream is to...
One students assignment stuck out to me however. "My dream is to get married and be a mom." I really wish I had copied her paper before handing it back to her. It wasn't the most beautifully written assignment I have ever seen but it spoke to my heart. She wants to get married in the Provo temple because that's where her mom and dad got married and it would make Jesus happy. She wants to be a mom because she "gets good practice taking care of her little brother and it's fun." Her third reason was because she wants to be like her mom.
As I read this assignment, I couldn't help but cry a little. How often have I said almost this exact same thing?
My dream is to...
- DATE!! (First things first, right?)
- Get married in the temple (Honestly don't care which one.)
- Wait a couple of years to have kids (Let's get used to each other before having to get used to someone else)
- Have kids (Honestly don't care how many)
- Live in a house that I can decorate, and clean, and cook in- all the time (preferably with a white picket fence and a garden, but that is negotiable)
- Be the worlds best "PTA/Soccer/Dance/Baseball/Scout/Whatever-else-my-kids-want-to-do Mom" (I don't mind be a taxi driver- car conversations are the best kind)
- Make the worlds best cupcakes (my sister already has the cookie market cornered)
- Eat dinner together every night (even if it's hard and is leftovers)
- Watch the kids go off to college and missions (and wherever they feel like they need to go)
- Grow old together sitting on the front porch swing holding hands with my husband (preferably with a view of the sunset, but again, negotiable)
But for now, I will settle for single and a great 4th grade teacher of 30 kids I love seeing every day (even if it means living in Provo...)
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Dear Boys #5
Dear Cowboy,
Fake potatoes. Not cool.
Love,
Jess
Dear Fish Lake,
I have been as bold as I dare be...any time now would be great. Thanks.
Love,
Jess
Dear Elder,
So proud of you! Keep up the good work, little brother!
Love,
Big Sis
Dear Middle Man,
Thanks for being such a great friend. My boy drama wouldn't be nearly as exciting without having you to share it with. (And I kinda love your girl drama...)
Love,
Hitch
Fake potatoes. Not cool.
Love,
Jess
Dear Fish Lake,
I have been as bold as I dare be...any time now would be great. Thanks.
Love,
Jess
Dear Elder,
So proud of you! Keep up the good work, little brother!
Love,
Big Sis
Dear Middle Man,
Thanks for being such a great friend. My boy drama wouldn't be nearly as exciting without having you to share it with. (And I kinda love your girl drama...)
Love,
Hitch
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Dear Boys #4
I am so glad Elise does these because I love them and it actually motivates me to do one too...
Dear Psych,
You are getting married and she is adorable. I am so happy for you! (And slightly jealous...but more happy.)
Love,
Jess
Dear You,
It has been over a year and it was only a couple of dates, but can I just say thank you for being a jerk then so I didn't have to figure it out now. You saved me a lot of time.
Not so Lovingly,
Jess
Dear Little Boy,
You stress me out on a daily basis, but I will be forever grateful that I was able to be your teacher. I am kind of sad to see you moving on to the 5th grade (but my blood pressure thanks you.)
Love,
Miss Jensen
Dear Dan in 101 (because I still don't know your last name),
This bake off we have going on just isn't cutting it. One of us needs to be bold enough to make the first move. I vote you.
Sincerely,
Your Upstairs Neighbor
Dear Psych,
You are getting married and she is adorable. I am so happy for you! (And slightly jealous...but more happy.)
Love,
Jess
Dear You,
It has been over a year and it was only a couple of dates, but can I just say thank you for being a jerk then so I didn't have to figure it out now. You saved me a lot of time.
Not so Lovingly,
Jess
Dear Little Boy,
You stress me out on a daily basis, but I will be forever grateful that I was able to be your teacher. I am kind of sad to see you moving on to the 5th grade (but my blood pressure thanks you.)
Love,
Miss Jensen
Dear Dan in 101 (because I still don't know your last name),
This bake off we have going on just isn't cutting it. One of us needs to be bold enough to make the first move. I vote you.
Sincerely,
Your Upstairs Neighbor
Friday, April 20, 2012
Best Story EVER
So, I was told I was really bad at this blogging thing so I am trying to get better. I have a story I thought you would all enjoy...even if nothing ever comes from it, it is a GREAT story.
A couple of weeks ago, I got new neighbers in the apartment below me, but I have never met them/seen them. I just assumed it was another lovely married BYU couple that wouldn't like me. (That tends to happen a lot around here.) I left for Spring Break and didn't think much about it.
Last Friday when I got home, the people above me were being SUPER noisy but they always are so it wasn't that big of a deal. Saturday morning I left to go grocery shopping, there was a note left at my door:
"Hi! My name is Dan and I moved in below you a couple of weeks ago. Yesterday I had some friends over, and they were a lot noisier than I expected! I apologize if they distrubed you at all. Please let me know- you can text me at ______. I hardly hear anything from upstairs, so I'm hoping that the sound-proofing here is just really good! But if they distrubed you, I can just make sure not to invit the noisy ones over any more! :) Please just let me know if there are ever any issues. Best, Dan"
So of course my first thought is "Sound single!" (Yep, my life has become that pathetic.) My second thought, "Call Jessi!"
Then I got around to texting him back. I told him my name and that I got his note, thanked him for his consideration, and said that I actually thought the noise was the people above me. I got one text back ending with "see you around"....not a lot to go on so that was the end of that.
Sunday at church I asked around to see if anyone new had moved into the ward the last couple of weeks since I have been gone and no. No one. The possibilities start running through my head. Maybe he isn't LDS, maybe he is going to his gf/fiance's ward, maybe he is going to an old ward, maybe he just doesn't know where our ward meets (it is a mostly married apt complex)...enter Jessica to save the day and invite him to the Linger Longer!! Or not, he wasn't home.
Monday, I forgot my phone at home on accident, but figured I wouldn't be too missed. When I got home I had one missed text and I automatically assumed it was from Jessi so I didn't bother to look at who it was from.
"Jessica??? (First clue that this is NOT from Jessi. She never calls me that.) That present on my door didn't happen to come from you, did it?? Lol if it didn't I'm sure this text sounds completely random..." So now I am scrambling to look at who this is from..and low and behold, it's from Dan in 101!
So, getting into text flirt mode, I replied, "Nope! But that is really ironic because I was going to bring some cookies down to you tonight" and I get back "Ah! You are too sweet! :) That really is a strange coincidence- when I got home from work today I found a bottle of orange juice hanging from my door knob"
Ok, what the random! (And just so you know, at this point in time, I am furiously throwing ingredients into a bowl like a madmen, trying to make cookies to take down to him. Also trying to figure out how to resurrect my hair after playing softball tonight and what I can throw on to be cute for the night again.)
I consider several replies while on the phone with Jessi trying to figure this all out. We decide to go with "Well, orange juice doesn't really go with pumpkin cookies, but I can still bring them down if you want them (and if you don't, its really ok).
And here is the major curveball..."Well, I would LOVE them on a weekend, but during the week I keep a pretty strict diet :( I don't know if they'd keep til Saturday...I really appreciate the thought though!!"
What the!! Now I have several dozen cookies sitting on my kitchen counter and nothing to do with them. So I just said, "That is good to know. I will have to keep that in mind."
After asking around for advice, I have decided my next action will be to take down some homemade bread of some sort. (I have had zip amount of time this week to take care of this sooner.) Really, all this is supposed to be is an excuse to meet the guy!! I have still never met him nor seen him!!!
And don't worry, my mom already thinks he is my soul mate.
A couple of weeks ago, I got new neighbers in the apartment below me, but I have never met them/seen them. I just assumed it was another lovely married BYU couple that wouldn't like me. (That tends to happen a lot around here.) I left for Spring Break and didn't think much about it.
Last Friday when I got home, the people above me were being SUPER noisy but they always are so it wasn't that big of a deal. Saturday morning I left to go grocery shopping, there was a note left at my door:
"Hi! My name is Dan and I moved in below you a couple of weeks ago. Yesterday I had some friends over, and they were a lot noisier than I expected! I apologize if they distrubed you at all. Please let me know- you can text me at ______. I hardly hear anything from upstairs, so I'm hoping that the sound-proofing here is just really good! But if they distrubed you, I can just make sure not to invit the noisy ones over any more! :) Please just let me know if there are ever any issues. Best, Dan"
So of course my first thought is "Sound single!" (Yep, my life has become that pathetic.) My second thought, "Call Jessi!"
Then I got around to texting him back. I told him my name and that I got his note, thanked him for his consideration, and said that I actually thought the noise was the people above me. I got one text back ending with "see you around"....not a lot to go on so that was the end of that.
Sunday at church I asked around to see if anyone new had moved into the ward the last couple of weeks since I have been gone and no. No one. The possibilities start running through my head. Maybe he isn't LDS, maybe he is going to his gf/fiance's ward, maybe he is going to an old ward, maybe he just doesn't know where our ward meets (it is a mostly married apt complex)...enter Jessica to save the day and invite him to the Linger Longer!! Or not, he wasn't home.
Monday, I forgot my phone at home on accident, but figured I wouldn't be too missed. When I got home I had one missed text and I automatically assumed it was from Jessi so I didn't bother to look at who it was from.
"Jessica??? (First clue that this is NOT from Jessi. She never calls me that.) That present on my door didn't happen to come from you, did it?? Lol if it didn't I'm sure this text sounds completely random..." So now I am scrambling to look at who this is from..and low and behold, it's from Dan in 101!
So, getting into text flirt mode, I replied, "Nope! But that is really ironic because I was going to bring some cookies down to you tonight" and I get back "Ah! You are too sweet! :) That really is a strange coincidence- when I got home from work today I found a bottle of orange juice hanging from my door knob"
Ok, what the random! (And just so you know, at this point in time, I am furiously throwing ingredients into a bowl like a madmen, trying to make cookies to take down to him. Also trying to figure out how to resurrect my hair after playing softball tonight and what I can throw on to be cute for the night again.)
I consider several replies while on the phone with Jessi trying to figure this all out. We decide to go with "Well, orange juice doesn't really go with pumpkin cookies, but I can still bring them down if you want them (and if you don't, its really ok).
And here is the major curveball..."Well, I would LOVE them on a weekend, but during the week I keep a pretty strict diet :( I don't know if they'd keep til Saturday...I really appreciate the thought though!!"
What the!! Now I have several dozen cookies sitting on my kitchen counter and nothing to do with them. So I just said, "That is good to know. I will have to keep that in mind."
After asking around for advice, I have decided my next action will be to take down some homemade bread of some sort. (I have had zip amount of time this week to take care of this sooner.) Really, all this is supposed to be is an excuse to meet the guy!! I have still never met him nor seen him!!!
And don't worry, my mom already thinks he is my soul mate.
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