Before you read this, read
this. I love Elise. We were in the same ward a couple of years ago and she was roommates with my best friend. We bonded over shepherds pie...in other words, we're tight. Most of the time I feel like Elise's emotions run about 24 hours ahead of mine. Every time I read one of her blog posts I'm like, "Oh yeah! That's how I feel." So, I hope she doesn't mind me piggy-backing off of her.
Like most LDS young women, I thought "Go to college. Get married. Graduate. Have children." That was my life plan and that's how it is going to work. Three years after graduating I have accomplished two of those. Go to college. Graduate.
If I have already shared this story with you forgive me...
I can clearly remember the day I was sitting in my living room with my roommates and best friend, Molly talking about graduation. (Molly and I were both graduating with an ELED degree by the way...we had done the entire program together). It hit me. I had to start looking for a job. A big girl job. My life hadn't really gone where I thought it would go.
Luckily, I was offered two different teaching jobs in two very different parts of the state. One was in Blanding. A little tiny town in southeast UT about an hour south of Moab. The other in Provo. I had felt good about the Blanding job when Molly and I would be going down together to teach, but then her boyfriend decided he couldn't live without her and they got married. So, I told Heavenly Father, if you want me in Blanding, don't let them offer me the job in Provo because I will take it. Needless to say, they offered me the job in Provo.
I have known without a doubt that I am supposed to be here from the minute I walked into the school for the interview. Everything work out too perfectly for me to chalk it up to coincidence. I never actually applied for the job in Provo. I did a mock interview with a human resources person from the district and she like what she saw enough to pass on my info on to some principals. I found an apartment quickly with probably the best landlords on the face of the earth. I work with people that I could get along better with.
But, it was supposed to be a one year deal. Work here for a year and then move on. Provo is the last place on Earth I want to live. I can actually say I hate it here. There is very little outside my job that I like or do. But, I also know without a doubt that this is where I am supposed to be. I thought seriously about up and leaving last summer so I got called as the Relief Society President in my ward. Started thinking about leaving after this school year and the prospects of a different position at school that I am interested in opens up.
I love my job, but I never intended to do it forever. In fact, I feel slightly guilty when other teachers talk about teaching for 20+ years, because I have no intention of doing that. I didn't go into education because it is a good "mom job" but I really don't plan on teaching the rest of my life. My goals haven't changed. I still want to get married and have children. I often wondered why those things haven't happened in my life...they are good, righteous goals. Then I start thinking back on the things I have learned and been able to accomplish in the last 3 years and I wouldn't trade them for anything.
If nothing else, I have become so much closer to my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. My testimony and faith in them have been the only thing to hold me together some days. Obviously, I needed that and that is good enough for me.
Congratulations if you made it all the way through that. Sorry it was so long. Sometimes you just have to let it all out. Thanks Elise for understanding even if you didn't know that you did.
