Dear boys #2

Dear Police Officer,
You weren't wearing a ring...you could have stuck around longer.  I wouldn't have minded.

Dear Pyro,
You have turned my life around.  I really don't appreciate it. Thanks a lot.

Dear You,
This can never go back to how they were so please stop.

Dear Psych,
If you weren't so sweet, and nice, and amazingly perfect, I wouldn't like you so much.  This would solve a lot of problems. Thanks.

My Worst Nightmare

This weekend one of my biggest nightmares happened.

Friday
11:45- I come home from a ward dance party...I am the last person in the parking garage (according to police)

Saturday
1:00 AM-  I go to bed.

4:15 AM- A loud "boom" wakes me up and I hear yelling outside.  I dismiss to be the crazy people around the corner.

4:30 AM- Someone bangs on my door and rings my doorbell repeatedly.  I sweat at them in my head and roll over

4:31 AM- My smoke detector goes off. I jump out of bed, grab shoes, my coat, phone, and keys and run out the door.  I see and smell the smoke immediately and see the cops knocking on the other doors in my complex.  I am rushed across the street and watched the thick, black smoke come rolling out of the parking garage underneath my complex.

4:35 AM- I call my dad in a complete panic because I don't know what else to do and Daddy always has the answers

4:45 AM- Call Holly to come and get me because I am standing outside in my pajamas (shorts) and freezing my rearend off.

4:50 AM- Cops come and tell us to evacuate to a local church.

4:55-6:00 AM- I sit in the cultural hall at the church and talk with the other single person in my complex and discuss the fact that there is a good chance my car is on fire.

6:15 AM- They let us back into our apartments.  It smells like smoke, but I am exhausted so I just crawl back in bed and go to sleep.

9:30 AM- I get up for the day and realize a black layer of soot covers everything in my apartment.  I eat breakfast and get to work.

Throughout the day, Holly, my parents, and my sister help me scrub and clean my apartment.  This stuff is extremely hard to clean up because it just smears all over the place.  We get most of the apartment clean...enough that I can live in my apartment.

Turns out, a stolen truck was dumped in my parking garage (and happened to be parked next to my car).  They set the truck on fire intentionally and took off.  The people below me could hear a car alarm going off and looked out to see what was going on and saw the smoke then called the police.  The truck and the car on the other side were a complete loss (see pics on facebook) and my car has some minimal damage to the drivers side- melting of the plastic pieces and weather stripping, etc.

Luckily, no apartments were damaged other than heavy smoke and no one was injured.   I had spent two days cleaning and doing laundry, but it is almost taken care of.  The complex manager will be coming around tomorrow to look at walls and carpet and what needs to be done to clean them.  Everyone has been so great and working to get things taken care of and fix the things that need it.

Everything outside still smells like smoke and my bathroom still has a lingering smell, but other than that things are pretty much back to normal.  I am so thankful that things are not worse than they are.  Cars can be fixed and apartments can be cleaned.  I am so lucky things are like they are and that I have people who love me and help in the time I need them.

Live Loyal to the Royal Within

Do you ever wake up thinking "Today could be a really great day...or...today could go horrible wrong." Well, today was one of those days. I knew several things of importance were happening and depending on how they turned out would affect my entire day. Let's just say today was much better than I expected it to be.

I have had a lot of experiences recently topped off by being set apart for a new calling today that have struck me as coincidental...but as we all know, nothing with the Lord is coincidental. I feel like the main message of things lately has been how blessed every person on this earth is to be a son or daughter of God. He is literally our Father in Heaven. I keep getting reminders of this on almost a daily basis this week.

I watched General Conference this past weekend. I took notes. I paid attention. And, as usual, I still have a hard time remembering who said what. The one word for word statement I do remember and that has stuck with me all week was from Sister Elaine S. Dalton's talk, "Live loyal to the royal within you." What a great reminder of our eternal potential.

I also finally got around to watching the General Relief Society broadcast from 2 weeks ago. (I know I should have watched it sooner.) I had heard all these wonderful things about President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's (2nd Counselor in the First Presidency) talk and how amazing it was, but really, nothing could have prepared me for that message. It was exactly what I needed to hear! Once again, what a firm testimony of how much our Father in Heaven loves each and every one of us! How much He wants us to succeed! How much He wants to bless us and helps us reach the eternal potential each one of us has!

Then, I bought Pres. Uchtdorf's book "Your Happily Ever After." Again, I had heard great things about it and after that message from the Relief Society meeting, I figured I should look into it. Again, he knocks me off my feet. Pres. Uchtdorf has a way with expressing words in the way to strike me perfectly. As he is talking about receiving the blessing of "happily ever after," he says, "But such a blessing does not come without a price. It is not given simply because you desire it. It comes only through understanding who you are and what you must become in order to be worthy of such a gift." Once again, who we are, daughters of the Most High, with potential to become just like him.

Next, (I know crazy, huh!?!) I finally got a copy of the Church's new book "Daughter in My Kingdom." Maybe because this has already been on my mind, but it struck me how much emphasis Church wide is being put on sisters and the Relief Society. Just the fact that they published this book, focusing on the history of Relief Society and the purpose of it, for every sister in the church amazes me. Then in the very first section of the book it states one of the purposes of the book and in studying the book is so "They can receive guidance as they strive to become the people the Lord wants them to become and do the things He would have them do."

For some reason, the Lord really wants us all to know that we are His daughters (and sons). I know this is true and have felt it in the last week stronger than ever. Don't ever forget to live loyal to the royal within.

Dear Boys... #1

So I am a little behind the times, but Elise's Pieces challenged everyone to do their own.

Dear you,

You make me want to punch you
on a daily basis. Please stop talking.

Love
Jess


Dear old friend,

You have been home for over two months
and I still don't know what to think.

Love
Jess


Dear little boy,

I am so glad you are in my class. Your daily
hugs make me feel like the best teacher on
Earth.

Love
Teacher


Dear door man,

Thank you a million times over and I promise I
don't always have that many problems with doors.

Love
Jess


Dear cutie,

I miss your face.

Love Jess

My heart belongs to...

(Just want to point out this i is my second blog post this month...I am on a role :)

Being the incredibly stupid person I am, I deleted my entire external hard drive last night. Now, usually I would not be totally heartbroken over this except for the fact that all my pictures, every single one, from the last 5 years of my life were stored there. Now, lucky for me, I have this excess habit of putting almost every picture I take on Facebook. That has come in very handy the last 24 hours. My current project has now been centered on downloading each and every picture, one by one, back to my hard drive from Facebook. Time consuming, yes, but I am actually enjoying it. It is giving me a chance to look back on the last 4 years of my life and remember all the awesome people and things I have had the opportunity to do and be a part off. So, this blog post is dedicated to all those things.

1- Utah State: What can I say, best decision I ever made. My life changed so much from that decision and I know i would not be who I am today without it and all the things I learned there- academic or not.



2- A-team- What can I say, after choosing to go to Utah State I think this is one of the best things I have ever done. I was heartbroken after not making the Ambassador program at USU my freshman year, but looking back on it I am so glad I didn't!! The A-team became like a family for me and I loved every minute of it...retreats at Bear Lake, bowling, (Physics), waffles, the boys house, star gazing, staff sanities with uncooked meat (Larry!), Sergeant Slaughter, volleyball and the "Scoop," Lisa-isms



3- Apt 3- What can I say, we were all meant to be roommates, even though half the time we wanted to kill each other...80's night, dessert nights, fingerpainting the wall, getting stuck in the snow, hiking to the windcaves, bridge and canasta and shanghi



4- Four wheeling- I may not seem this way, but I not only like to be outdoors, but I love it and crave it. One of my favorite things to do is go four wheeling with my Grandpa. It doesn't matter where we go or how long of a ride I love it. There have been numerous trips up Middle Canyon to the overlook, Jacob's City, St. John's, and Davenport. In my opinion, the muddier or dustier the ride, the more worth it it is.

labor day weekend with no labor

What a wonderful Labor day weekend. I went home to Tooele and my brother came up from Ceder City. It was truly a family filled weekend. Saturday we all went out to dinner and then bowling, which we haven't done in a really long time. Monday, my family and grandparents went four-wheeling and had a BBQ/picnic. It was a fantastic trip. It was a very dirty trip, but a very good trip.

ME

I stole this from my good friend Alyssa Craig

Ten Things I wish I could say to 10 Different People (but don't say their name):

1. You are a great person, but I can only take you in small doses.
2. If any one is going to the celestial kingdom, it is you.
3. Sometimes your intensity scares me and I don't ever know how to respond to you.
4. I miss you (a lot) but I am scared for the day you come home.
5. I am really glad you became my friend because no one really gets me like you do.
6. If you don't want my opinion, don't ask for it.
7. I really wish I knew you better...there has to be a flaw there somewhere, but all I see is perfection.
8. Please don't feel sorry for me. Pity does not become you well.
9. I know you are just teasing, but it kind of hurts when you make fun of my age.
10. Thank you for understanding my obsession with Utah State...especially basketball.

Nine Things About Myself:

1. I am loud- I talk loud, I laugh loud.
2. I try and pretend to be outgoing, but really, talking to people I don't know really freaks me out.
3. I am somewhat obsessive about my jewelry. I always wear my watch, my CTR ring, my class ring, and earrings.
4. I don't like it to be quiet...I almost always have music or the TV on, even if I am not paying attention.
5. Generally, I don't find awkward silences awkward and I won't talk just to fill a silence.
6. I don't like things on my feet (socks, shoes) or people touching my feet.
7. I have a HUGE sweet-tooth.
8. I love to cook, but I HATE doing dishes.
9. I take way to many pictures of everything.


Eight Ways to Win My Heart:

1. Be comfortable in the outdoors- hiking, camping, fishing, hunting, etc
2. Carry on a conversation- talk and listen
3. Stand up for what he believes
4. Sense of humor, able to make me laugh
5. Athleticism...at least enough to be comfortable watching the game with me
6. This may sound bad but, be at least 6' 1" I find it really awkward when I am the taller one.
7. Being ok with my super awkward, clumsy moments- laugh at them with me
8. Getting along with my family, especially my siblings, and my friends

Seven Things That Cross my Mind a Lot:

1. Oh, crap!
2. I can't believe I just said that!
3. I can not stay in Provo forever (or I have to get out of here!)
4. hahahaha!! (I laugh inside a lot during the day...I am not supposed to laugh at my students, but they make it too easy :)
5. How do I fit everything in today?
6. Clever and witty things that I never think of at the right time.
7. Things I need to get at the store, but never remember to write on my grocery list

Six Things I Do Before I Fall Asleep:

1. Make a list of what I need to do tomorrow
2. Take out contacts
3. Wash my face/take off make-up
4. Brush my teeth
5. Put on chapstick
6. Pray.


Five People Who Mean A Lot:

1. Mom and Dad (I am cheating and lumping them together)
2. Katie
3. Marcus
4. Jessi
5. Molly

Four Things I'm Wearing:

1. gym shorts
2. spandex shorts
3. t-shirt
4. socks

Three Songs I Listen to Often:

1. Just a Kiss- Lady Antebellum (A new song, but I have completely fallen in love with it)
2. Chances- Five for Fighting
3. Singing in the Rain/Umbrella- Glee cast ( am not a big glee fan, but I love this mix)

Two Things I Want to do Before I Die:

1. Visit all 50 states
2. Learn to water ski ( I have tried multiple times, but it always seems to end badly)

One Confession

Even though I always complain about my social life, I have days where I just don't want to talk to anyone, see anyone, be with anyone, I call them my anti-social days. I just don't feel like have to be around people. I am much more content to read or watch a movie by myself.

That was A LOT harder than I thought it was going to be...

Failing Social Life

I was told this past week that I need to blog more...so, as a summer goal, I will try :)

Just a warning: This may become more of a ranting post- Beware!

This is something that has been eating at me for a while, and tonight just caps it all off. I have always heard rumors, stereotypes, if you will, about Provo, UT. The great social life. The overactive dating scene. The great LDS culture. I have lived here for almost a year (11 and a half months) and I have seen none of this. I don't just mean very little, I mean NONE.

Social life: I have always thought of myself as a very social person...maybe my job in Logan spoiled me. I would like to think I have friends in Provo, but I am starting to wonder. Night after night, Holly and I plan activities, movie nights, car pools to Real games, etc. Very, very rarely does anyone other than the two of us show up! I am starting to think there is something wrong with me. I shower, I brush my teeth, I exercise...is there something repulsive about me that makes everyone turn and run in the other direction?

Dating life: If I had one I wouldn't have included it in this list, right? Now, you might say I could take it into my own hands, but the sad thing is, there is no one to ask! Once again, is there something repulsive about me that makes guys turn and run in the other direction?

Great LDS culture: People here think I am divorced because I am a single, LDS, college graduate. I am criticized and belittled for being a strong USU graduate that opposes BYU. Good example, huh?

If I didn't know with such strong certainty that I am supposed to be here it would be really easy to just pack up and leave.

Now that that is out of my system, I did have a fantastic trip to Logan this week. Just driving into the valley (through a canyon that "poops" me out) it gives me just that extra push I need. I love that valley. I love the people. I love the college. It was absolutely beautiful. There is still a LOT of water everywhere. I have never seen water in the lake bottom this time of year and there is still snow waiting to come down! They have 600 West closed because the river is overflowing. Second dam picnic area is covered in water...but everything is so green! I love it!

I got to have lunch with my bestest best friend. She may be married (for almost a year! I can't believe it) but she didn't turn into one of those "stupid married people." She probably knew I would kill her if she did. I am happy that she refers to Andrew by name and not "my husband." I am happy she still wants to be my bestest best friend even though I live in "zoobieville" now. I am happy I have a reason to have lunch with her still.

I got to go to the student center and see my aunt and cousin at SOAR. I remember the day I went to SOAR. I was nervous, excited, terrified, and absolutely in awe all at the same time. I am so excited for her and for my brother who are both starting out on the best adventure in life. Moving out on your own, meeting new people, finding yourself.

I got to see all my A-team family still left and a few extras. These people are like my USU family. As Lisa always says, "Once an A-teamer always an A-teamer." I wasn't sure what it would be like to walk back in but it was like every other SOAR day. I did feel out of place however, because I wasn't wearing my blue and khaki. I was also very impressed with the current A-team. They seemed like a great group of people and they assisted very aggressively. I had dinner with some of these A-team girls and felt like nothing had changed. Just a girls night out.

I am not ashamed to admit that I did cry a little driving home. I was very tempted to stay, but I knew if I did, I would never leave.

End of the Year

Well, I have made it to the end of the school year! I have one more week left of my first year of teaching and what a crazy year it was! We have had some crazy moments and some great moments as well. We have finished our end of year testing which was an interesting experience in and of itself. Never have I felt more stressed about something I had no control over as I did for those three weeks of the school year. The kids did very well and I am very proud of all of them for working hard and doing there best.

Through all of the craziness that makes up the last month of school, I have come to realize that my crazy job teaching part 6th grade and part 4th grade was a blessing for the entire school. During the first week of testing, one of the fourth grade teachers lost her husband after a long fight with liver disease. She was gone for a week and a half and it was great to be able to take her class and help out. Then, just this morning, one of the sixth grade teachers lost her father to heart failure and I am now sitting in with the sixth graders. I am all over the place but it is nice to be able to reduce their stress level in these hard times.

Now on to the good news..although it took a while to become good news. After months of stessing and worrying, I have now been offered a full-time regular position teaching the fourth grade here in Provo at the same school. Originally, I was offered a crazy 2nd/5th/6th split job and I was considering moving to a new district. However, with much help from the staff at the school and many prayers, I was offered the fourth grade job. I am really excited about it and really happy to be able to stay (at the school not in Provo)

New Year

I know that it has been a new year for almost three weeks now, but oh well. I haven't blogged in a while merely for the fact that I had nothing interesting to say. Life has been pretty boring lately.

I went home to Tooele for Christmas break (which was not nearly long enough I might add.) It was a good break and Christmas was great this year. It was nice to see my family for longer than a weekend.

School has been going really well. I finally got my "New" eMINTS classroom. I now have 18 personal desktop mac's (which is supposed to equal out to one computer for every two kids, but with my special circumstances, it ends up being one for every student exactly). Using them is like learning to teach all over again. I really have no idea what I am doing, but it is slowly getting easier to incorporate them into my lessons every day. I wouldn't say that I love having them, but they are nice tools some of the time. I still have to attend a 3.5 hour class on most Thursday nights to learn how to use them, which gets long in a hurry. My kids are still as cute as ever, even when they try and set me up with their dads or other teachers at the school. They are more interested in my love life than I am! :)

On the note of school, I had a chat with my principal this week about the upcoming school year. I have decided that if they cannot offer me a full-time, regular classroom situation position, then I will apply elsewhere. I really don't enjoy living in Provo that much and if I have to move schools, I might as well get out of Happy Valley. The dream place would be Logan or Cache Valley school districts (and through the grapevine I have heard they are hoping to hire a lot of new teachers this year.) Either way, I feel like I am starting all over again and am right back were I was a year ago. I love Provost Elementary, but I can't do this teach a group of kids here and there thing. I'm only half way through the year and I am tired of it. I want a class that I can bond with and that will be mine. I want everyone I work with to treat me like an equal...not a second rate aide that happens to have a teaching degree (and not everyone here thinks that, but the select few make it clear they don't think I am capable).

Sorry this has taken the form of a Christmas newsletter. I did not intend for that to happen. Hopefully it won't be so long before my next post :)